Complete Mario Randomness Of DOOM!
by D-man 523
Summary: Mario randomness. Set on the same day as the Sonic randomness story. Lot's of crotch stabbing! T for violence, drug usage, and mild language. Sorry I didn't really keep up with Mario's character!
1. Crap Shizzle

HELLO, IT'S ME! I KNO WAT YUR THINKING... _"OH GOD, THIS FREAK?!"_WELL, THIS FREAK IS BAK, WITH A MARIO STORY! PRETTY FUNNY. READ MY RANDOM SONIC STORY 2! p.s. Imagine Mario sounding and acting like Tommy Chong(Disclaimer: I do not own the Mario franchise, or Tommy Chong's likeness.).

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It started out as a quite normal day for Mario, saving Princess Peach from Bowser's evil clutches and tending to his mentally re-tarted brother, Luigi. He went into the kitchen to have breakfast and eat some mushrooms. He looked in his fridge; he was already high, and everything amazed him. "Whoa, man. Those mushrooms are like, totally colorful dude." Luigi entered the room. "Dur! Dur! Da dur da dar!" Luigi said, walking a moronic limp. "Ha ha, byotch. That's what you get for being jumped on several hundred times, man." Mario laughed and scorned him. Suddenly, Luigi held up a match and lit it, and threw it at Mario. "What the hell man. I don't like it when I'm on fire dude." He said. Luigi just laughed and rolled around on the floor. "What ever, man." Mario said and walked outside. The villagers crowded around to see Mario on fire. None of the residents were actually toads, that was just induced by Mario's drugs. Suddenly, Mario started flying and burned more in the sun. Then, a giant potato floated by him and he roasted it with his burning body, putting the fire out. "Man, you are so high and stupid, Mario." I said to him in a cool voice. "Like, nu uh!" He said.  
I didn't want to make another long argument scene and so I just used my author powers to transport him back to Toad Village. He looked around and started mumbling to himself. In the distance, Bowser was riding up in his hot rod. He wasn't a "Koopa", he was just a human war general. Mario saw him. "Duuuuude... It's dat turtle guy... I remember when we used to get high together...

FLASHBACK Mario was being tortured by Bowser in his evil castle. "Hmmm... What to do with you now...?" He asked himself after whipping Mario for a few hours. "Hey, Fukface. Snort this bleach and poprocks mixture I just made." "Okay." Mario replied and sniffed into his nose. He was unconcious a few minutes later.

END FLASHBACK

Mario got out of his trance when one of the "toads" poked him. "Yo, dog. You got plumbers crack, and dat ain't cool 'round these parts homie cheez." It said. Mario rubbed his pimply ass. "What...?" "I said, your ass is sticking out of your pants!" It said. "Oh." Mario replied. All of a sudden, he stabbed the guy in the crotch and made a war cry. "AAAAAGHHH!!!" He heard a scream. Bowser was screaming and kicking on the ground, with 5 bullet holes in him. Dog the bounty hunter was standing next to him. "Whoa... Trippy." Dog looked at him and gave him the "I'm watching you" signal. Mario crouched back in fear and started imagining candy land. Sonic suddenly ran up to him. Mario jumped on his head and they got into a paper, rock, scissors death match. Mario won and stabbed Sonic in the crotch. Later, Mario was beating up Luigi and cooking a cake. He pulled the cake out and sniffed it... "Oh yeah... That's the stuff..." He said, getting high from the cake. Suddenly, it came alive and killed everyone near it, including Mario. It stabbed Luigi in the crotch and laughed.

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I HAV FINISHED! YAY! READ MY OTHER STORIES!


	2. Potato nizzle

Mario suddenly came back alive and blew fire into Toad's mouth. Toad screamed like a byotch.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAgh!"

He screamed, and Mario laughed.

"Heh heh heh... Poor Toadstool."

"I'm not a Toadstool! I'm a human, and my name is Frank!"

"You keep telling yourself that." Mario ran off and set fire to everything in the Mario universe and pissed his pants. "Crapn hell! I missed _Days Of Our Lives_! WTF!" He then pissed himself agin and flew away like a superhero. YAY ME!!!


End file.
